Thailand: A road trip, fried bugs and the Lady Boys of Bangkok

After returning to Huay Xai from the Gibbon Experience, and getting a decent meal that didn’t involve Morning Glory (yes they have a vegetable called morning glory!) and rice, we got a Tuk Tuk to the smallest airport known to man.

The reason for the flight came from the realisation that my passport was going to be full of stamps and visas, long before our trip would be due to come to an end. So we had to find a way to get a new passport. It seemed that other nationalities were lucky enough to be able to take their passports to an embassy and get pages added, but unfortunately for us British Nationals this was not the case. After hours of trawling though different embassy websites we found the rather convoluted answer. The Passports would have to be processed as a renewal and for this we would have to send them to Hong Kong for processing, as they no longer processed passports in Thailand. Hong Kong would process the paperwork and send the necessary documents to England for our new passport to be created (as apparently it isn’t cost efficient to get the ‘high tech’ passports with the chip processed in any other country. Then ideally within four weeks the passports would be sent from the UK to an address of our choosing, and a few days later the accompanying papers from Hong Kong would follow. The only problem being that without a visa we were not able to stay in Thailand for more than 4 weeks. So first of all we had to get a Thai visa and the only place in Laos we could get this was Vientianne (if only we had thought this far ahead when we were there the first time). So we had to arrange to get back to Vientianne. We decided to book flights back to Vientianne as a two day bus ride back the way we came didn’t sound appealing in the slightest. (By the way, if anyone knows of an easier way we could have done this, please don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.)

 We could see upon arrival that the flight was delayed by one hour. Not a problem as the one hour flight, plus delay, would still be a hell of a lot quicker than the alternative. We checked in our bags (which involved heaving them onto a large trolley along with all the other bags) and then took a seat in the ‘lounge’. A little longer than an hour later, the plane finally arrived and we were allowed to board. We piled on and got comfortable when suddenly everyone started getting off again. Looking obviously bewildered one of the air hostesses came over and told us that there was a problem with the plane and that we would have to get off for about 20 minutes. Around forty minutes later we were told that the luggage door wouldn’t shut, and the problem could not be fixed so we would have to wait for another plane to arrive.  After waiting on the grass infront of the airport for several more hours, the plane finally arrived and we were allowed to board. I feel that fate was mocking us for trying to get a swifter mode of transport as by the time we touched down in Vientienne we were over 6 hours later than scheduled. Still, better than the bus though.

A couple of days after our embassy visits we were ‘with visa’ and we took the bus across the Friendship Bridge into Thailand.

The difference was immediately apparent. The roads in Thailand were smooth, wide, and there were dual carriageways! To me, it felt like a cross between China and the rest of South East Asia. We were dropped off in a small town just over the boarder which had a huge public park that was very ‘China-esque’ where we whiled away the time eating mocha ice-creams for 20p each before the night bus to Chang Mai.

I wish I had taken a picture of the bus now because it was easily the most ‘pimped’ out bus we have taken so far. It didn’t have beds like the Chinese and Vietnamese buses, but the seats reclined nearly all the way back (without crushing the lap of the person behind you) allowing you to get a good view of the pink faux leather upholstered ceiling, and not only did we get blankets and snacks but when it got dark, the inside lit up with blue and red neon lights.

Our main focus in Chang Mai was to get our passports and applications sent off to the Embassy without too much trouble. Once that was done we managed to have a look round the markets, the old town and various other things that Chang Mai had to offer.

Then we hired a car and began our road trip around the north of Thailand.

We had a rough idea of the route that we wanted to take (in our new nippy Toyota Yaris) which included a few notable towns ‘off the beaten track’ which although did have the odd traveller popping up every now and again was much more inhabited by the locals.

On the first day of the drive we stopped off at a wood carving market and Doi Inathon national park which is home to a few waterfalls and the highest point in Thailand.

We spent quite a long time navigating the windy roads and so ended up stopping to sleep in Khun Yuam when it got dark. After I was mistaken in the dim light for a Thai woman we got a room and went out for some Pad Thai and a chocolate and banana roti, this time made with coco powder as opposed to chocolate sauce (which I’m not sure about).

The next day we drove further along the winding roads and stopped off in Mae Hong Son for some delicious lunch.

We then continued on to see the long neck tribes, the fish caves and the mud spa.

I’m actually quite glad that we didn’t end up paying for these activities as part of an organised tour, especially the fish caves which turned out to be a tall overhanging rock with some fish swimming in a lake beneath it. The Long Neck Tribe was interesting, the people living in the village are all refugees from Myanmar but the ‘long neck’ part only encompassed about 3 of the women living in the village and it was clear that the tradition was only really upheld for the tourists as the village consisted of one short dirt track flanked on either side by wooden tables selling handmade scarves, jewellery, carvings and postcards. Not arriving as part of an organised tour did have its disadvantages, as we were the only people strolling through their village and I did feel very imposing. Eventually I plucked up the courage to take some photos and after that we promptly left.

The Spa was pretty good though, we had a mud mask with mud that had been pasteurised and infused with minerals, swam in the hot springs (which were so hot that we had to get out early) and had a Thai massage. That evening we we stayed in Soppong in a beautiful bungalow next to the pool. If the car rental handt been eating into our budget it might have been nice to stay there a few days as they had a charming wooden balcony overlooking the river with a bamboo hammock and some squashy cushions. But we had to continue on. The next destination was Pai, and we headed off in the morning after stopping off at the coffin caves.

Pai has been known as the ‘Hippie Town’ of Thailand since the 80’s and that much is still true today. Unfortunately we did not stay long enough to go to the Reggae Festival that was being advertised on every street corner, but we were lucky enough to socialise with the crowds who had no doubt come from all over the world especially for the event. It was a very touristy town but it was had a very relaxed vibe and they had everything a traveller could possibly want, including tubing down the river, yoga classes, piranha fishing, ginger tea served in a piece of dried bamboo, wheatgrass shots and fried crickets and cockroaches, all of which we were compelled to try.

We ended up staying a little longer than intended,  but instead of taking the long route up to Chang Rai we went straight back to Chang Mai and handed back our nippy little rental.

The next stop on the road south was Sukothai one of the old capitals. There were some very beautiful temples to see, but most importantly, there was a restaurant named after a bowel movement.

It didn’t take long to explore the town and the next day we got the bus to Bangkok. We arrived in the evening and not knowing where to stay we referred to the lonely planet for the ‘tourist’ area. A pushy taxi driver offered to take us there for 300 Baht but luckiy even after the long bus ride we were awake enough to know that the taxi should run on the meter and after walking a little further away from the bus terminals we managed to find ametered taxi rank that took us there for about 100 Baht.

Accomodation was rather limited and in the end we found a room costing more than we wanted to pay with the intention of moving somewhere else the next morning. Luckily we managed to find somewhere nearby for about half the price but as it got later into the evening, it turned out that the guesthouse was right above a club and the music was so loud that every beat of the bass caused the room to shake. Third time lucky, after two nights there we moved to the only other reasonably priced room we could find which had a large bunk bed.

The week in Bangkok was by far the busiest week we have had in a long time as we wanted to squeeze so much in, we got up early most days and didn’t have dinner until after 9pm. But in my opinion it payed off.

We went to see the Grand Palace and a few other sights in the town.

The markets were my favourite, but as well as shopping in the markets we also went to the very posh shopping centers where we treated ourselves to a few nice meals and a luxury cinema ticket. Not only were the ‘love seats’ fully reclining with pillows and blankets, but we got a complimentary glass of wine before the show in the VIP lounge, and had the cinema to ourselves! Possibly because it was a Spanish film subtitled in both English and Thai, but it was a good film and well worth it.

Actually my favourite thing about Bangkok might have been the cupcakes. Some of the best bought cupcakes I have ever had. We went back so many times the lady behind the counter came to recognise us! (Closely followed by the ice-cream shops!!)

We did a cooking course and as well as trying the 'century egg' (wikipedia it, basically an egg that gets surrounded by herbs and ammonia and buried for a few weeks before being dug up and eaten!) learned how to make Pad Thai, Panang Curry and Sticky Coconut rice with mango, amongst other things.

And of course no trip to Bankok would be complete without a trip to a cabaret show. Unfortuantley I don’t have any photographic evidence, because, having never been to a cabaret show before I thought that we would be far too far away for photos and that they may even be forbidden. However, in reality it was a very intimate setting in quite a small room and perhaps with everything you might expect, such as heavy red velvet curtains and tables dotted among the chairs holding red covered lamps. Some had criticized the show for the lip-syncing but for me the show wasn’t about that, and I think only shrivelled up old crudes wouldn’t find it funny. At one point I (stupidly) thought that there was some sort of wardrobe malfunction as one of the ‘women’s’ boobs began wriggling their way out of the top of her corset as she was wildly dancing about on stage, but later on it became apparent that this was part of the act.

One week in the hustle and bustle and we thought it was about time for some beach! So we packed up and headed off on the train to Chumpong where we could catch a ferry to Koh Tao, the smallest of the three islands to the east of Thailand.